The mind can be a fickle monster. A chemical imbalance, some faulty wiring, and things can happen. Any recovering addict will tell you that they’re still an addict. Ask a neurodivergent person how they make it through the day. That sort of thing. So here’s a bit of my story
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I’m sure you’ve heard of Marie Kondo and “Does it spark joy”. But for my mother and me, there’s another button: “I might use this later”. My mom would be like “I can use this for art”. She never threw away any manual for any appliance she owned. “Just because I might need to look at it”.
I inherited that. Plus with my neurodivergence and depression working their spells…
Well, have you ever had your house so cluttered and messy that you could hardly see the floor in some rooms? That it was almost impossible to move freely except for specific paths?
I did not know how bad it truly was until I started dealing with this.
And the first step is always to admit the problem and ask for help. And help I got. I still have a ways to go—we filled up the dumpster my brother got so I couldn’t add any more—but now I have free movement. Imagine this room so cluttered you can’t even see the far door:
Yeah. It was that bad.
But we got so much done that I was able to put up my tree.
And to me the tree is important. I put up a tree during the summer of 2020. And it put me in a better place mentally. So I kept it up until it died. Then it took so long for me to take this first step I’ve talked about but I’m now able to have a new tree up. So now it’s all about next steps. Such as a maintain schedule. Like working out, putting x amount of time a day or every other day just for keeping things up. Like putting x time a week to finish things that we weren’t able to get to. That sort of thing.
And I have support. I have my therapist, and I have family and friends to encourage me, motivate me, and lift me when I’m down.
So now I’m in a slightly better place than I was. And honestly, that place I was in was so bad I wouldn’t even wish it on the orange in the White House and all his minions.
So, thinking positive thoughts as I look into the future, on to Tops!
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