Vampire Billionaire Attacks Pope

Daily Kos Staff Emeritus (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Saturday December 06, 2025 · 7:09 AM PST

2025/12/06 · 07:09

Shortly after American-born Robert Prevost was elected Pope, J.D. Vance and his wife stopped in to visit with the new pontiff.

In addition to a Chicago Bears shirt, Vance brought the American Pope two books by St. Augustine. This gift represented a bond between the two men: Vance chose St. Augustine as his patron saint when he converted to Catholicism, and the Pope was previously head of the worldwide Augustinian order.

It's an open question whether Vance ever read either of the books, since Augustine spends a good amount of time lecturing against pride, encouraging humility, and preaching compassion for immigrants. But even assuming Vance still somehow clings to a highly selective edit of the saint ("An unjust law is no law at all," means Vance can do anything he wants, right?), it looks like he's going to have to denounce the guy in the big hat.

Because Vance's vampire boss says the Pope may be the Antichrist.

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