Doing some holiday gift shopping with my oldest son today.
He is nonnverbal, can’t point and yet manages to always pick the most perfect gifts. It’s astounding how understands each person’s personality and preferences.
He loves to give gifts and pick them.
I enjoy the process too although it can be exhausting.
We pick a store…, or more correctly he does and we wander through the whole store… then we do it again… he vocalizes a sound and looks intently at something…I point …he shakes his head yes or no….it goes like this…
this display?
Nods yes.
Top shelf?(pointing)
no.
Next shelf ? (pointing) until we hit the shelf.
Then depending on how much is there we either point to each item or divide and conquer….ie is over on that end or this end….
He can vocalize sounds and using a system of grunts to communicate letters. Kind of like this
Uh.
Row A?
Uh.
Row E:
shakes head yes
ok..row E
Uh
E
uh.
F
uh
G
he pauses.
letter G?
nod yes
And so he can spell words. Takes forever. He also has a communication device..a tablet …mounted to his wheelchair that he can use (but often doesn’t ) with synthesized speech.
He know the device inside and out, but with me he wants to spell verbally.
he’ll utilize his spelling a lot…. Where’s the List (on my phone typically) I show him the list and read it aloud and he’ll shake his head when the name comes up he is shopping for.
or he’ll spell the name by vocalizing. Since it takes forever we try to guess based on the first letter. Which can also be a challenge…
spells to M.
ME? No.
Mary? No.
Mom? Yes.
You’re looking for mom? No.
Whut? Ok …spell it all out…
eventually you come to mikes mom.
Wait? Who?
i made that up but similar things happen. His patience is almost endless.
Anyways… it’s enjoyable and mentally exhausting. Also madness in crowded stores.
did I mention his power wheel chair? With the tablet mounted on it? The chair alone weighs over 400 lbs per the manual. It has two modes indoor and outdoor. Its all customizable. Indoor mode is customized for him.
it accelerates slowly but is also requires very little push on the joystick to respond. Sort of hypersensitive. But slow.It’s what he needs. It’s also twitchy as hell for any one else. Like me.
outdoors is left to the default…so someone can help him in a parking lot or in the rain and move fast. And it will move very fast. And accelerates fast.
so crowded stores…are difficult. He can’t respond fast enough to drive in a crowd so he doesn’t. Whoever is with him drives. You pick twitch mode. Or look out I’m coming though mode.
most folks just go about there business. Some are observant and help with doors (thanks. I appreciate it) or by making room. Some are oblivious. To everything. In other words normal human behavior in a crowd.
my advice if you see a power wheel chairs ? Make room. My toes have been run over countless times…even when I’m driving.
your toes will thank you :-)
seriously though we don’t run into people (although my wife has been known too) .
Displays…sometimes.
Crowds have kids.
kids are precious. Some are quiet but want to ask. Some do ask. All are innocent and so blunt.
Why is he in a chair?
Or what is he in?
Or why is he like that?
some parents answer. some hush them, embarrassed.
don’t be embarrassed!
If I can I give them the cliff notes. he can’t walk, so he uses this wheelchair to get around. They aren’t stupid. They can understand. They notice his tablet and ask about it. It’s his voice, he can’t talk. Sometimes my son will spell hello (with me interpreting) or use his device to say something. Usually though…he is focused on something else.
Finding a gift.
anyways that’s the plan. He shopped in several craft stores and bought most of the family gifts already. Some with us. Some with a friend. He prefers to buy stuff made by artisan. Today he wants to visit a Barnes and noble (every year we do) the paper store (another yearly stop) and another craft store that sells artisans work.
if you see us say hi. Trust me -you’ll know it’s us — we stand out in crowds
